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I was out of my seat and heading for the aisle before the lights came up for intermission. I knew what beer did to me, I knew I shouldn’t have had one before the show started, but there I was with an overladen bladder, shoving the other audience members aside as politely as plausible. There was a line outside of the downstairs’ ladies’ room already, so I rushed to the one upstairs, where the line was even longer.I really, really couldn’t wait, and only two alternatives came to mind: run outside and hide behind something in the street or alley, or use the men’s room. A steady stream flowed in and out of the men’s side but there was no line, so I took a deep breath and marched in with the guys.My long-sleeved, backless little black dress hugged my curves, and its pencil skirt hugged my knees even tighter. Between that and my four-inch stilettos, I was surprised at how well, and how necessarily fast, I got around (but damn, I looked good). I ignored, outwardly, the whistles and comments and headed straight for the stalls in the back. The first one was locked when I tried it, as was the second (whose occupant was rude as well). Since crossing one’s arms and tapping one’s foot was the universal sign for being next in line, that’s what I did. Apparently, the novelty of a lady in the gentlemen’s lavatory wore off quickly, as the room transformed itself back into one full of indifferent men with their hands at their crotches (not that I was looking). I realized where my plan fell apart, though, with all those urinals and only two stalls. “Miss? Hey, miss?” Afraid to look but too curious not to, I glanced Göztepe Escort at the peeing man standing next to an unused urinal that hung only a foot or two above the floor. He nodded towards it and went back to his personal business. I surveyed the room and sure enough, all the rest of them were penis-height. I wondered whether that guy expected me to squat over it or something but my bladder made it very clear to me that it was there or the floor and if I didn’t choose, it would. I pounded on the stall door one last time and was told to “fuck-off-n-wait-yer-turn.” Okay, the diminutive urinal it is. My clacking heels drew some attention back my way. I stared at the stand-up potty, glanced (quickly – oh, my God, why did I look?) to my right, then looked down again, contemplating the second plan today that I hadn’t thought all the way through. When in Rome… I shuffled over the bowl and pulled my panties aside. I worked out the math and physics without the benefit of a pen (or penis), as loft and distance had never been discussed during my potty training, so where it all went was going to be a surprise to everyone. I hiked up the front of my dress in a way that failed at any sort of concealment and let loose. “Thank. You. God!” was met with polite laughter and light applause. A slight adjustment of my stance and a lift of my hips was all that was needed to keep the flow in the splash zone. This wasn’t so bad – I could pee like this anytime, I figured, and, apparently, for a long time. I only had one beer, for crying out loud! My neighbor zipped up and, pretending not to Göztepe Escort Bayan stare, said, “Damn, miss, you don’t know how hot that is.” I wiped myself with a scratchy paper towel and mimed zipping myself up to prove that I belonged. I washed my hands and nonchalantly checked my hair and makeup, then headed out toward my seat. My pissing partner was waiting for me outside the door, but I strode past, dismissing him. He caught up and, without looking at me, asked if I had ever peed on anyone before. I shook my head and walked faster. “You ever get peed on?” “No,” I said firmly. “I bet you’d like it.” He veered away, and I got another beer. At the end of the show, I was a bit disappointed that there was no line outside the ladies’ room. That guy was right. That was hot as hell. ———— Sean didn’t like the theatre, which was fine, but he hadn’t waited up for me, which wasn’t. I really enjoyed my night out and wanted to cap it off with some sexy time. I considered waking him up, but he’s always a grumpy lay when I do. I padded off, naked, to the bathroom and paused in front of the toilet. Listening for his gentle snoring, I was satisfied that he was still sound asleep, and headed out to the backyard through the patio door. We have a small fire pit way out back where the two of us enjoy a small campfire now and then. If we were enjoying adult beverages, and if we were too drunk or lazy to go back into the house, we had no problem pissing off to the side. I wasn’t drunk and I certainly wasn’t lazy, having made the trek out there, but I really wanted, maybe Escort Göztepe needed, to pee outside. I could see well enough once my eyes adjusted to the light from the partially covered quarter moon. Neighbors were out of the line of sight, even if any of them were awake, but the thought of being watched made my heart thump even harder. Closing my eyes and separating my feet, I answered the call in nature. The usual relief that comes with relieving an engorged bladder wasn’t enough for long, as my fingers disturbed the waterfall on their way into the differently wet spot between my legs and the similarly engorged button overlooking it all. The letdown that came when the stream ended was quickly replaced with the uplift of my climax. I wavered but dared to lick my fingers clean afterward. I ran away from the moon that had turned into a spotlight shining down on me. Settling in next to Sean after throwing on a tank-top and panties, I made myself sleep before I could think about what I was feeling. ———— Life felt normal in the morning and the following weeks until that one day I was running errands. The extra-large coffee had worked its way through, and the thought of using the men’s room nagged at me all the way to the back of the store. I was determined to relive my last experience and swerved without hesitation into the men’s side, where I froze after only two steps. Every face there turned to me – I couldn’t do it. “Oh! My mistake!” I claimed and rushed out. I made it back to my car, praying that nobody had followed. What if someone I knew was there? I aimed the car for home and really didn’t think about what I was doing until after I had gotten onto the expressway, speeding away to a different town and to a store I had never been to, thinking that no one would recognize me. They didn’t. I went into a stall and peed in the men’s room, and they all knew that’s what I was doing.
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